Hello,

I must admit something. We should have started these emails with this one. Because this is the baseline of everything we write about every Tuesday: how to put words in the right order. Storytelling. Clear, coherent messages.

It is the skill that makes you sharper and more successful in any role you are in, whether you run a plant, answer the tenders, manage a warehouse, or just want your boss to actually read what you send.

We jumped straight into strategies and checklists in the past issues and skipped the foundation. So here it is, the foundation.

This week is about two moments that decide most deals…

The first moment: a buyer asks what your company does, or why you cost more than the cheapest offer. Most people either go quiet or start listing everything. Both lose.

The second moment: you write the email that matters. The one to the category buyer, the logistics director, your own boss. Most emails bury the point somewhere in the middle, and the reader gives up before finding it.

Both problems have simple fixes. You can use them this week, whatever your job title says.

Where does this come from? Our job at Brave New Media is looking at how companies talk, in their tenders, offers, websites and LinkedIn, and fixing it. We see the same mistakes every week, across manufacturing, logistics and retail suppliers. This week we also read an old book that the big consulting firms treat like a bible, and pulled out the useful parts for you. Everything below you can do yourself, without us.

Here is why talking about your company feels awkward: you are making claims. “We are a leading provider.” “We deliver quality and flexibility.” Nobody believes sentences like that. Not even you, while you say them. That is where the salesy feeling comes from.

The fix: stop claiming, start asking.

Ask first, talk second. A pricing expert called Ron Baker tells this story. He needed a gardener. Three came to give a price. The first two just quoted numbers. The third asked questions first. Do you travel a lot? Do you enjoy garden work? What is your plan with this house? Baker said he wanted to sell the house in two years. So the third gardener said: then let’s make this the best-looking garden on the street, because that raises the selling price. He won the job, at three times the price of the others. He never bragged once. The questions did the selling.

It works exactly the same in a plant or a warehouse. The supplier who asks the buyer “what does a late delivery actually cost you, per hour?” before quoting is doing what that gardener did. The price talk changes completely once you both know that number.

Talk about what the customer gets, not what you do. “We produce packaging components” is a task. “Your line never stops because of us” is a result. “We offer warehousing and transport” is a task. “Your goods are on the shelf when the retailer checks” is a result. Buyers do not pay for your machines or your trucks. They pay for what stops going wrong. Go through your offer and swap every task for the result it brings. The bragging feeling disappears, because you are no longer talking about yourself.

Take away a fear instead of adding a boast. Your buyer is mostly worried. Worried about a supplier that fails mid-season, about paying too much, about looking bad in front of their own boss if they switch to you and something breaks. One removed worry sells better than three compliments about yourself. For example: “Start with one product line for three months, and see how we run before you move anything else.” That sentence does more than a page of certificates.

Now the second moment. The fix comes from an unlikely place.

In the 1960s, a woman named Barbara Minto became the first female consultant at McKinsey, the famous consulting firm. She noticed something: very smart people were writing confusing reports. Not because they thought badly, but because they wrote in the wrong order. Her fix became the house rule of the whole consulting world. Four parts, all simple.

Both halves of this email are one skill: respect for the other person’s time.

You ask about their situation instead of listing yours. You hand them the answer instead of making them dig for it. The person who does both is rarely the loudest in the room. But they are the one everyone quotes afterwards, and the one whose emails get answered first.

Somewhere in your company there is a person who writes the offers, the tender answers, the emails that matter. Forward this to them. Say: here is a simple structure, worth ten minutes. They get sharper, the company’s message gets heard, and it came from you. Not a bad thing to be known for.

And if you are that person, or you would like us to look at how your company’s value comes across, in your offer, your website, your last three proposals, contact us!

Thirty minutes, one of our senior people. We tell you what your message sounds like right now, where the value gets lost, and the one thing to change this week.